Random post

Heya! After soo many months I really felt the need of jotting down my feelings as they were piling up to form a mountain inside me. So many crazy stuffs were just happening in my life that I didn't even get a break. Even now I just completed my chemistry revision as I've got my chemistry exam tommorow n now finally giving my head some rest. So thought of writting some random stuff at 2am though its quite early for me to go to bed but ya I've to wake up again in the early morning for revising mah due parts of chemistry. This subject seriously sucks. Anyways so these months I was soooo busy with sooo many stuffs that I lost bit balance n these exams grrrrr....no matter how much time we are given for preparation its always the night before the exam :P sooo many good things happened n also bad I lost a very close friend of mine last week. Its true that distance kills all relations but I madly miss her. We last met kinda 8 months back when she came here in Bengal. I miss all those fundays with her n also her last day of 8th grade before leaving school. And also I miss being her song critic. She was the best n always will be. Okay but I don't end this post on a sad note from today onwards I'll try to post random stories n stuffs with lesser gaps. :) bye or else I'm goin to oversleep in the morning n eventually fail :'0...Nooo thats a complete No No. So chow see ya soon :)

Buried Somewhere Inside My Heart

I had a crush on you from the very first day of the High School. I never got the guts to take a step towards you as you were the most popular guy of the class. You hardly noticed me but I was your classmate since past 6 years. It was quiet obvious as I wasn't as hot as your girlfriend. I was just another normal girl who always dreamt big and loved living in her world of imagination. Years passed and we were in 12th grade, time changed but my feelings for you remained the same. It was school's annual function when you  pranked by giving my name for the singing performance without my concern. I had always been a shy girl but it was for the first time that your prank discovered the biggest talent in me, my singing talent. It was the best day of my life not because that I gave a good performance but because it was for the first time you talked to me. After that day even others started noticing me. Gradually I also became popular just like you. U started being friendly with me, we became friends, good friends. My last year of school was definitely the best year of my entire school life and later also the worst. I could realise I was changing, my friend circle changed as I belonged to the popular gang then. Last day of school and I finally proposed you after 7 long years. I tried my best to express what I exactly felt for you but you made all those words so silly when you said that we can be nothing more than friends. You used me to make your ex gf jealous. I was lost, I was heart broken, hurt and I had all the world's ugliest feelings inside me. I saw you again for the first time after 8years. You were standing silently in the crowd which was shouting and screaming my name during my concert. My first song which was a major hit was actually about you, about my first heart break. Thank you so much for giving me this life. I love it a lot. I know you want me now but its too late I can't look back when I have so much to look forward for. I loved you and I will always love you but don't know why that feeling for you got buried somewhere inside my heart.

When life takes a new turn: Chapter 9

Aditiya was bit puzzled to see me just before our wedding day where according to the hindu rituals meeting the to be bride or bridegroom before the wedding day is regarded as a bad luck. Definitely something really bad was going to happen n we both could sense it. I didn't beat up the bush n told Aditiya all about me n Sid. I couldn't understand his reactions but I'm sure he was definitely hurt. I was feeling guilty but I was helpless, I felt this short term feeling of guilt was better than having it for the rest of my life after our marriage. Aditiya's parents were roaming outside his room I guess they were trying to figure out about what we were talking that also just before the day of our marriage. After I finished my whole story I looked at him but he just said that its too late n I should go back home. My heartbeat nearly stopped for a while -
Is he still goin to marry me even after knowing that I love someone else? I was furious at him but I was not in a situation to burst out at him as some where I knew that it was my mistake n I don't have the right to react like that. I drove back home. I called Sid n told him everything that happened. He was also worried n later came up with the world's worst idea of running away and getting married in a temple or like that. It was a complete NO from myside for that. I couldn't hurt my parents, thats impossible. It was the day, the worst day of my life, everyone in my house were so happy but I couldn't still accept the harsh truth of my life that I'm going to marry someone else but not Sid. I gulped up that truth n decided to go with the flow. I was ready in the bridal attire then Mom came into the room n asked me to be strong. The entire house was full with my closed ones but only Mom knew in how much pain I was. Even she couldn't stop the marriage as it was already too late. Few hours left n my life would entirely change after that. I could hear some footsteps comming towards my room, it was Sid. I didn't want to see his face then. His presence made the whole thing even more difficult. Mom left us alone even uttering a single word.
"I want to talk to your Dad"
-"Noways I've never seen him this much happy before, this is the best day of his life and I don't want to hurt him no matter what."
We eventually got into a fight when suddenly my aunt rushed into my room n said that everything was over, Aditiya called off the marriage the last moment as he loves someone else so he can't marry me. I had a mixed feeling. I didn't know how to react. Aditiya definitely lied to his family for me. Guests had already started coming. I went to Dad's room where he was sitting all alone n it was for the first time I saw tears in his eyes. When he saw me he completely broke down n started blaming himself for everything. At that very moment Sid entered into the room n asked my hand for marriage from my Dad. Me n Dad both looked at him in astonishment. Dad's tears of sorrow turned into the tears of joy. May be that was the best moment of my life. The dark shadow miraculously went away n my entire house glimmed with happiness once again. Before that day I never knew that Sid's parents know everything his feelings for me n they fully supported him after they came to know about his decision of marrying me. We finally tied the knot. It has been 4 months since we got married n I must admit that I was never this much happy. I just got the news that Cyra n Arjun are also going to tie the knot soon . And this time Avi is very much serious about his relationship with Anisha. I called Aditiya to thank him for everything that he did for me and I came to know that he met a really nice girl whom he has even introduced to his parents. I was really happy for him n I finally got released from that horrible feeling of guilt. Avi was wrong I got my Prince Charming may be my life wasn't a fairytale but still it had a happy ending.

When life takes a new turn: Chapter 8

I lost all my controll. I returned back home n the first thing that I did is to hug Mom n I cried my heart out. I told her whatever has happened. She was shocked but I somehow felt that she already knew that this gonna happen someday, may b a Mother can foresee her child's fate. 4 days have passed n just 1day left for my wedding. I should be excited n happy but I wasn't. Actually I tried hard but unfortunately I couldn't. These 4 days were the hardest days of my life. May be my phone became tired by recieving numerous calls n texts from Sid. It was at 6pm when my aunt told me a girl came to meet me. I went to the hall room n saw Akanksha was sitting their. I was bit shocked as I was expecting her to turn up on my wedding day not a day before but still somewhere in my heart I was happy to see her after a long time. She stood up n gave me a gentle hug, actually this was our first hug.
"After a long time" said Akanksha.
-"I'm glad that you made time to visit my place"
She smiled but this wasn't her typical evil smile rather it seemed lik a gentle one.
"Kriya I'm here to tell you something"
-"What's that? Is everything okay?"
"Ya...Actually not. Kriya do you know why did I and Sidharth break off?"
-"No, I don't."
"Actually it was because of you that we broke off"
-"I...I was the reason behind your break up? But how?"
"The truth is that Sid was never in love with me."
-"But you were his girlfriend."
"Ya I know but he never loved me."
-"Then why were you in a relationship with each other?"
"There was nothing between us but infatuation. He fell for you the very first day u guys met. I knew everything but I tried to overlook as I didn't want to loose from you. It's true that I never loved him though."
-"Do you even know what you are saying? Did Sid tell you to say all these stuffs?"
It was a long conversation, Akanksha told me all the truth n how a misunderstanding ended up them being in a relationship. Akansha left but I felt like my heap of confusions is turning into a huge mountain of trouble. I drove to Sid's house as I really needed to talk to him. He was happy, shocked n confused all at the same time. We started with a normal conversation but landed up in a huge arguement. We argued
vitriolically before
surrendering to our true feelings for each other. Tomorrow is my wedding with Aditiya n here I'm confessing my love for someone else. I decided to talk to Aditiya as he has the right to know each n everything about me n Sid. Afterall I would never want to destroy an innocent person's life for my selfishness. I took a deep breathe n rang the bell of Aditiya's house.

When life takes a new turn: Chapter 7

I didn't know what to say, it was Sid. It was hard for me to forget him n accept the hardest truth that Sid never felt the way I felt for him. And I took the hardest decesion to marry Aditiya. Sid finally broke the silence ," Hey am Sidharth hopefully you haven't deleted my number, I heard that you are getting married."
"Ya Dad went at your place yesterday n invited your whole family, I wish to see even you on my big day."
-"Hmm ya m happy for you, he might be your dream guy right?" he sounded low. After a long pause I said,"Ya"
I wanted to scream n tell him no he is not the one with whom I want to spend rest of my life with. He is not my dream guy nor he can ever be as it was always you n it will be only you.
-"He is very lucky that he is going to have you as his life partner"
"Hmm"
I had nothing more n tears rolled down my cheeks
"Sid I think Mom is calling so I gotta go"
-"I'm over here now so can we meet for once before you become someone else's?" he chuckled but still he was sounding different.
I didn't want to meet him I know that I won't be able to hide my true feelings for him if he comes in front of me now.
"I don't think thats possible"
-"Please just for once, it has been months that we haven't seen each other."
"Okay then tomorrow evening, you decide the place."
-"Great I will text you the name of the place then."
We bidded each other Good night n disconnected the phone.
I got Sid's text where he told me to meet him at a nearby restaurant at 6pm.
I was excited, bit nervous n also scared. Finally I reached there n saw Sid was waiting outside for me. I was seeing him after 10 months but it felt like I haven't seem him for 10 years or more. He hugged me n we went inside. I was bit confused as the whole restaurant was empty n there
was just two of us. Then an attendance came n told that the whole place is booked for us n guided us to a table.
"Why did you book this whole place?"
-"Because I wanted to talk to you"
"So what do you wanna talk about?"
-"Oho I'll tell you later but at first have the food"
Throughout the dinner I was busy guessing what Sid would have to tell me. We completed our dinner n suddenly a song from my favourite band Lady Antebellum started n the lights got turned off. Then a slideshow of photos of Sid with me started on the TV screen. I was clueless about the whole thing n I started looking for Sid but he just got disappeared. The slideshow ended n the lights got turned on n I could see Sid. He walked towards me n bended down on his knees n said those magical words for which I was dieing to hear for so long. Ya he proposed me, I felt like as if I have went back to my dream land where everything was perfect n my Prince Charming was standing right next to me. But the sword of reality slayed my dream into pieces. I turned back n went away from there without even saying a single word. I know these things have no meaning now only five days are left for my marriage n I can't turn it down any way. I was helpless, I was trapped in my world of emotions.

When life takes a new turn: Chapter 6

I was hoping all day long that time heals every wound n my this wound will also be healed by time. One night I got Sidharth's call he was sounding low, he broke up with Akansha. I was shocked but I didn't ask him about the reason as I don't wanna mess with their lives. I didn't know shall I be happy that now I have a chance to get Sidharth or shall I be sad that he is totally broken now. I was confused but decided to help him rather. I tried to contact Akansha but she didn't recieve my call, it was quite obvious that she would have never recieved a call from her biggest enemy at that time. Then I called Avi, hoping that he will definitely come up with a solution. Avi told me to be with him thats all Sid really needed that time. I tried every possible way to cheer Sid up but there was something which was stopping him to be normal. I sent him hundred messsages n tried to call him numerous time but his phone was comming switched off. He didn't even cared to reply back or contact me. I was worried, I was broken n I didn't have a single clue why he was doing this to me. Was he trying to avoid me? But what was my mistake? Days changed to months but there was not even a single text from him, he never even bothered to contact me. Then I gave up finally n finally called his friend Vishal n he told me that Sidharth when back to London a month back. I didn't have any word left, he went away but never cared to tell me even once about this. I tried every possible way n in the mean time another marriage proposal came on my way n I said a yes without even thinking twice about it, afterall I didn't want to disappoint my parents once again n now I don't have any excuses left to reject Aditiya. For whom I'd have rejected him for? I made my heart strong n promised I won't turn back. A week left before my marriage with Aditiya. Everyone in my family was so happy so I tried hard to put a smiling face on me but I couldn't. Mom knew that something was wrong. But she rather preffered to leave me alone may be because she was afraid that it will ruin everyone's happy moment. Still she asked me whether everything was allright n I nodded my head saying yes n told her that I was upset as I don't wanna leave them. She seemed to be relieved n hugged me. At night I saw an unknown number flashed on my cell phone's screen. I didn't recieved the call at first but then finally recieved the call n an known voice from the other side said, "Hello". My eyes became moist I was sure he was none other than Sidharth.

When life takes a new turn: Chapter 6

That night Sidharth texted me just to say sorry once again. This was the begining of our new friendship. We used to chat every night, we even went out for dinner few times along with our friends. I started to call him Sid. But I could realise that my crush on him is getting even bigger day by day. One day he told me that his girlfriend is comming to India so he wants me to meet her, I wasn't that excited to meet his girlfriend anyway but I agreed to it because I didn't want him to give any clue about my real feelings for him. The day came, I n Avi were waiting for Sid n his gf in a restaurant, after a while I could see Sid entering n also a girl with him, seeing her I felt like that my world went upside down as she was none other than Akansha Banerjee, the person I hate the most in this whole world. We were in the same school n she was my classmate, we couldn't stand eachother. Actually we were busy competing with each other in our school days but now how can she be Sid's gf? Avi was continuosly poking me sayin," Isn't that Akansha of our school?". I didn't utter a single word as I was literally in shock. Sid n Akansha came closer towards us n finally Sid introduced her to me saying that she is his girlfriend Akansha then Akansha interrupted him n said that we already know eachother as we were classmates in school. Sid gave even a broader smile may be because he thought that we were friends in school days. We had our food n talked about our school days but till the end there was that perticular Akansha Banerjee's evil smile on her face. May be she was happy thinking that I got rejected by the man who belongs to her n this time she won the match in a clear way. Really I was upset, I know that we have grown up now n everything has changed but still there was a  feeling of getting defeated by the  person you don't like much n that was the most worst feeling I ever had. Avi looked at me as if he could read my mind n knew how much upset I was at that moment. Avi dropped me to my appartment. He wanted to talk but I refused as I wanted to stay alone. I was busy fighting with myself. I was trying hard to supress my feelings for Sid. This weird feeling is totally driving me crazy. Hope things will change with time.